The eternal challenge of work life balance especially for mothers seems to have recently taken a center stage in collective public discourse thanks in part to the publication of Sheryl Sandberg's book. For those of you who may have been laying under a rock these last few months, according to Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook COO and author of the self-described feminist manifesto Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead, this disparity in power and achievement can be attributed to systemic gender inequality and cultural biases, but also to something else: the way women are acculturated to respond, often subconsciously, to these factors. Sandberg calls on women to "lean in": to act with boldness and confidence; to "sit at the table" where decisions are made; to choose life partners who support their careers; and to not put those careers on hold for marriage and babies before those things are a reality. Her book in consequence led to a publication of several equally thought provoking and sentiment stirring articles the likes of Anne Marie's Slaughter's "Why Women Still Can't Have it All", http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/07/why-women-still-cant-have-it-all/309020/ and specials featured throughout television http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/12/opinion/roundup-having-it-all. And perhaps one the most fascinating articles I've read yet on the topic, featured in the New Yorker Magazine, "The Retro Wife" http://nymag.com/news/features/retro-wife-2013-3/ which completely went the other way on the whole debate creating a tidal wave of tirades on its very own. Then what seemed like days afterwards were filled with endless blogs and OpEds focused on tearing down the whole premise of that position. Quite honestly, I am just tired of this yet AGAIN. It's a rehashing of the SAHM vs. Working Mom aka Mommy Wars that seems to simmer in a soft boil only to passionately erupt every once in a while when someone decides to write a strong opinion and make money selling a book. Can We Have it all? Who Knows...I mean, the very phrase "Having it All" can mean very different things to different women. Why do we do this over and over again.....don't we realize we will never come to a conclusion or an agreement over this? We're talking about a subject that not unlike religion and politics, can conjure up strong personal views, rationalizations and a need to defend what we believe to be right for our family. No one wants to be judged for the choices they made especially women...and especially women when it comes to their children and families. Without diving into my personal situation too much, suffice to say I used to work in a high-charged finance environment with 60+ hr workweeks in one of the largest cities in the world and now I'm the mother of four young children (ages 6, 5, 4 and 2). You come to your own conclusion on the choices I've had to make :) We all have to make choices. If you have a choice in the first place, consider yourself lucky. I'd rather we re-channel our ire and anger over positions into constructive ventures and projects for change that will positively impact our families rather than fiercely debating something that quite honestly in my opinion, has no answer.

My heart has been broken since the devastating tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary last Friday. As a mom to four young children including a first grader, I couldn't stop shedding tears at the images of the atrocities committed in Newtown, CT. I can't possibly imagine what those parents are going through. As we reflect on what happened, I feel that we as parents, as citizens and as human beings must turn out grief into meaningful action for change. The time is NOW. We owe it to those innocent angels that lost their lives too soon. How many more mass shootings are we going to have to witness for us to finally do something about this? Will the death of little 6 and 7 yr olds finally wake us up to the grim reality that sorrounds us when it comes to guns, mental illness and parenting in this country?

The time is NOW to push our political leaders to drive change regarding the easy access to assault weapons in this country. There is no reason why a housewive or any private citizen for that matter should be able to be allowed to amass a small arsenal and ammunition of military-style semi automatic, assault weapons! As one person so eloquently put it: "Our Bill of Rights does NOT guarantee gun manufacturers the absolute right to sell military-style, high-caliber, semi-automatic combat assault rifles with high-capacity magazines to whoever the hell they want". We are the only industrialized nation with no ban on such assault weapons. No country in the world has more guns per capita, with now 300 million civilian firrearms now in circulation or nearly one for every adult.

Other nations have suffered similar rampages, but they have reacted quickly to impose new and stricter gun laws. As per a recent article in the NY Times, "Australia is an excellent example. In 1996, a “pathetic social misfit,” as a judge described the lone gunman, killed 35 people with a spray of bullets from semiautomatic weapons. Within weeks, the Australian government was working on gun reform laws that banned assault weapons and shotguns, tightened licensing and financed gun amnesty and buyback programs. Similarly, after 16 children and their teacher were killed by a gunman in Dunblane, Scotland, in 1996, the British government banned all private ownership of automatic weapons and virtually all handguns. Those changes gave Britain some of the toughest gun control laws in the developed world on top of already strict rules. Same is the case in Japan and so forth. We are the only industrialized country that has this problem. While nobody questions the second amendment’s right to bear arms, but I don’t think the founding fathers had the idea that every man, woman, and child could carry an assault weapon!! Interpreting the second ammendment in that manner is grossly irresponsible and ignorant in my opinion. An obvious example was that of the Chinese madman who attacked children with a knive at the school. He injured many but no one died. The argument that guns don't kill people, people do is ridiculous. IF you can fire a weapon that shoots multiple bullets automatically within seconds, you WILL do more damage!!!! IF you can easily purchase a firearm at a Walmart or sports or recreation store faster than you can adopt a pet, then of course we will have gun violence. Limited access reduces the chances and the opportunity to kill so many so quickly.

The time is NOW to discuss mental illness in this country and how we diagnose, treat and medicate. Many of the recent mass shootings in this country have involved perpetrators that are young men with similar psychological profiles and personality/behavioral problems. Were there signs? When did symptoms begin? Could it have been prevented through early detection? How do psychotropic drugs and their use in treating personality disorders play into this? What options do parents have when their children have been diagnosed with a credible behavioral and psychological issue and when should parents push back to make sure we're not misdiagnosing or not considering the serious side effects and long term effects of these treatments on developing brains especially during withdrawal in early adulthood?

The time is NOW to discuss our values and culture of violence. First person shooter video games didn't exist in the past. But nowadays it seems kids are constantly bombarded with images on television, music and such games where the "thrill" of killing is glorified leading toto a desensitization to pain and death.

The time is NOW to discuss how parenting and discipline play a role in the way kids view and understand violence. We all know parenting plays a key role in setting limits, paying attention and listening especially during the tumultous teen years. Are we teaching our kids about empathy, what is truly right and wrong? How to effectively deal with bullying, being outcast, etc?

As many have said, no one piece of legislation or action will automatically resolve this problem as it is very complex and the result of multiple factors, but the first step is to ask ourselves what those factors are and drive meaningful action so we can minimize these tragedies from recurring. Every child in this country should feel safe at school. If we fail at that, nothing else matters. And we can't stand to settle for this and have this happen again. We CANNOT sit back and accept that as our reality.

A recent article in the Financial Times, "Disappearing Mothers" has struck a nerve with many, including me. Just as I was beginning to contemplate a detailed response to the article with my rebuttal, I came across a piece that did it so well while making me laugh that I couldn't even try to replicate it. Thanks Instaprincess for voicing what many of us feel!

Here is a link to both. What do you think?

RESPONSE: http://www.instaprincess.net/blog/?p=119 

ORIGINAL ARTICLE: http://www.ft.com/intl/cms/s/2/0bf95f3c-f234-11e1-bba3-00144feabdc0.html#axzz26Z1A2Dn6

Here we go again...in my opinion, it's obvious Time Magazine only cared about selling copies with its recent cover. To me, it's clearly an attempt to sexualize breastfeeding. I have four children (ages 5, 4,3 and 19 months) so I can speak from experience a bit. With my first, I was so nervous and sleep deprived that breastfeeding didn't last long at all. With each one I got a little better and even ventured into the world of hospital grade pumps to be able to give them some of the immunity rich breastmilk I had learned about. I personally enjoyed the act of breastfeeding when I was able to.

But seriously, with none of my four, have I ever looked like this while giving the boob. I mean, who breastfeeds standing up and posing like that? The position itself is not realistic. And Time conveniently picked a boy that looks closer to 5 than 3. To add insult to injury in bold red lettering the Cover's question "Are you Mom enough?" hits us hard to create a stir and pit moms against each other. Not empowering at ALL and highly polarizing.

What's a shame is that Time could have used a less controversial image to introduce Attachment Parenting to the masses. This is after all a bona fide parenting philosophy that includes many principles many of which are quite flexible and not controversial at all. The principles (taken from Attachment Parenting International) include:

Prepare for Pregnancy, Birth, and Parenting

Feed with Love and Respect

Respond with Sensitivity

Use Nurturing Touch

Ensure Safe Sleep, Physically and Emotionally

Provide Consistent and Loving Care

Practice Positive Discipline

Strive for Balance in Your Personal and Family Life

I'm sure that many of you may have practiced some of these inadvertently without knowing it was Attachment Parenting or you may have not....opting instead for some other approach. Regardless, why do we care about labels so much?

In the case of  Attachment Parenting, breastfeeding is just a part of it and it's the minority of moms following this movement that actually breastfeed their kids beyond the infant years. For me the decision was easy, once teething began and I wanted to feel like I could delegate some of the feedings to my husband and not have a nipple bitten off, I started weaning my kids. This naturally happened for most of my kids around 9-12 months. The point is that there are no strict rules. You ought to do what you perceive to be the best for you, your child and family. I say enough with these "controversial" images that are put in front of us to stir the pot without being constructive.

Enough with silly "debates" that put moms at opposing ends of an argument that shouldn't exist in the first place. After all, you are the parent. You decide the way you want to raise your child and accept input from those you respect and welcome. Forget about labels. Don't preach your way to others thinking it's best. NO parenting philosophy has it all figured out. NO parenting book has all the answers. The only thing that is certain is that as parents we will make mistakes along the way and that is OK. Are parenting philosophies now going to become another argument point in the neverending Mommy Wars?

I say, you want to work full time and it works for you? Awesome! You want to stay at home and take a break from career to be with your kids? Good for you too.You want to breastfeed? Great. How long do you want to breasteed for? It's up to YOU. I don't care and I shouldn't judge you either way. You want to co-sleep in a safe manner and it works for you. More power to you. You want to carry your baby around in a sling, I say go ahead! (I did and personally loved it!) but it may not be for everyone.

Instead of arguing who does it best or "Who is Mom Enough?, why don't we channel our energy on topics that bring moms together in unison like improving maternal care in this country or child healthcare or our  educational system and stop wasting our time debating things that are not worth debating.

 

 

Alot of hard work and effort goes into organizing a wonderful circus performance like Ringling Bros Barnum & Bailey especially when it comes to working with one of our favorites...the great big elephants!

We're very excited to have the circus coming to Charlotte's Time Warner Arena Feb 1-5 and be attending!

We're also giving away 4 tickets to a lucky family that visits our Facebook Page and tells us what they love about the circus the most!

Below are some fun facts about elephants that you may want to share with your kids as you get ready to come to the circus!

Did you know that .....

• Elephants respond to some 60 verbal commands, as well as recognize human and animal friends after years of separation?
• So far, 22 calves have been born at the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Center for Elephant Conservation^® with more on the way.
• The Asian elephant has been on the endangered species list for 32 years.
• A female elephant is pregnant for 22 months.
• A Ringling Bros. calf on average weighs 300 pounds at birth
• 150-200 pounds of hay per day in additional to fruits, vegetables and fresh bread is the staple diet for a Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey^® Asian elephant.
• Depending on the weather, Asian elephants can drink 30-50 gallons of water on a daily basis.
• An average male Asian elephant will weigh 10,000 – 12,000 pounds.
• The average height of an Asian elephant is 10 feet.
• An elephant can have up to 150,000 muscles in its trunk.

We hope you enjoy it! :)

I have many wonderful memories of attending the circus when I was a child and also enjoyed dressing up as a clown when I was a teen to entertain kids parties for spending money! (but that's another separate blog post..he he)

And now I can't wait to experience the circus again with my little ones when Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey come to town! They will be in Charlotte's Time Warner Arena from February 1- 5. The "Fully Charged"  show will include clowns, The Human Fuse and a wonderful assortment of animals. And an hour before the show, families will be able to meet/greet with the performers, ask for autographs, and get to know an incredible elephant that knows how to paint! (all included with the purchase of the ticket). They will have shows starting on February 1-3 (at 7pm and also a 10:30am on 3rd) and February 4-5 (at 11am, 3pm and 7 pm each day).

As a member of our Empowered Mommies Community you can receive a $6 discount to tickets by using the Discount Code below!! For more info on showings and purchasing tickets Click Here  and to download a fun coloring page for your kids Click Here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Disclaimer: "In exchange for my time in attending this perfomance, advising you of the latest discount offers, Feld Entertainment has provided me with complimentary tickets. However, all reviews at Empowered Mommies represent a fair and unbiased opinion".

 

 

This is the second holiday where our family is truly complete....as I look back at the four little faces in my minivan I realize how amazingly blessed I am. I have my days believe me, just like anyone else, but for the most part I have learned to develop a keen sense of humor, self-deprecation and zen-like attitude that enables me to coast through this time of the year with four little ones, 5 and under with relatively low levels of stress. My husband plays a huge role in this. His ability to make me laugh in the most chaotic of circumnstances is something that I cherish daily and am eternally grateful I found in my life partner. It's impossible to take yourself too seriously when you have this many kids who are so young and close together in age. A recent example of this was a photo op at a Breakfast with Santa event. As we get closer to Santa, my 5 year old daughter starts expressing her disatissfaction with the color and length of our Santa's beard, my 4 year old son starts to become suspicious of the big guy while my two year old has a flat out meltdown which includes kicking and screaming and refusing to pose with the rest of the family unless she is firmly held in my lap. Lastly, my youngest at 13 months is actually the calmest yet becomes startled suddently like a deer in headlights as soon as the flash goes off. All in all one would imagine would make the worst of pictures ever. But surprisingly, after receiving a copy of this shot, I was amazed at what I saw and people's reaction to it. Words like "down to earth", "genuine", "not fake" "happy family" were some of the feelings that viewers captured and I agreed. My husband and I were laughing and each of our kids were captured in their element. One of our best family photos ever. So this made me wonder...what if I had tried to control the situation or pushed for a fakeness of sort through a posed shot? Would the impact of the photo been the same? Probably not. Which made me think about some things I have learned along the way with each child. So here it is...my two cents on holiday happiness with kids under 5...

1. Don't strive for Perfection: First of all it doesn't exist! You will drive your kids and everyone else around you crazy trying to get that "perfect" photo, event, outing, outfit, etc. Kids are kids and assuming they are not being a menace to themselves or others, are meant to be messy, playful, loud and inperfect. Trying to push or force something that is straight out of a catalog is dishonest, fake and will leave you feeling miserable always.

2. Control freaks need not apply: Early on even before we have children it's important for us to understand that we cannot control everything. There are things that are beyond our grasp and that is ok. Kids (at least mine do) have an uncanny ability to remind us of this every single day. If you must have things your way and everything crossed and ticked precisely as you see fit, you will go mad. I also recommend limiting your exposure to control freaks whenever possible as this creates unecessary tension and stress in your life that you don't need right now.

3. Pay it forward: I'm not much of an organized religion kind of person and neither is my husband, but we both do believe in spirituality, being a good person and karma by showing gratitude where it is due. At this time of year I enjoy recognizing those people that really make a difference in my kids daily life like teachers, neighbors, child watch center ladies (thank you ladies at the Y!  I am eternally thankful for your existence and patience in caring for my kids on a daily basis as I workout and maintain some mental sanity time) to name a few. I derive joy from surprising people that least expect it, that don't have an overblown sense of entitlement and showing them how much I care about them.

4. Don't sweat the small stuff: I know, I know...it's the title of a toilet book and it's easier said than done, but believe me....if you really focus on this and try to live by it especially around this time of year, you will be happier and a better parent! Who cares if so and so said this or did this or if your kids spilled some stuff on the carpet. Is it really that big a deal?  You can fill your days with the minutiae of life and spend some ridiculous amounts of energy on trivial stuff that will leave you taxed. I say, shake things off. In my case, a nice run or other heart beat raising activity does the trick to keep me calm and in perspective and focused on what is really important without getting bogged down.

5. Focus on moments and experiences, not things: Things without a doubt can make us happy...I mean, just look at our kids Christmas morning opening gifts, but hopefully as we get older we realize the feeling things give us is fleeting and temporary. Memories and the feelings we associate with them (in my case at least) are tied to experiences and moments I shared with my family. If you strive to create happy and meaningful moments, everything else will be gravy.

This is a starting list...like many parents I make mistakes everyday and continue learning...but I try to keep these five principles in mind as I navigate the waters of parenthood.

Wishing you and your families Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year!!

As the mom of four little ones (ages 5, 3 1/2, 2 and 10 months) my days can sometimes blend together into what seem like quick weeks so it's no surprise that my eldest starting Kindergarten a week ago snuck up on me too soon. Where have the past five years gone? Well, for starters I've been pregnant several times during that time period so it's no wonder that my recollection of the passing of time includes middle of the night wake up calls, feeding and an overall sense of foggy-brain over multiple birthdays and special family and holiday events :)

But I knew the day would come. She had attended Preschool last year so I knew that Kindergarten wasn't too far behind, but in a way I was in an irrational state of denial thinking my first baby would stay at home with me indefinitely. I took comfort in having attended an Orientation with her, the rest of my kids and hubby who so wonderfully always takes time to be involved every step of the way. We had seen her classroom and met her teacher so everything seemed fine.

However, the morning of her first day I had butterflies in my stomach. She seemed excited and genuinely happy while I was the one nervously packing her lunch and school bag wondering how she would feel and how she would like her teacher, what friends she would make and what things she would be exposed to at school. With a bell schedule from 7:45am to 2:45pm I wondered how she would adjust to being away from home for so long...7 hours straight! Which seemed too long for my "baby". Together we picked a cute outfit and I did her hair. She smiled all through it and kept hugging and holding me. What a smart girl! She knew I needed the confort more than her!

I still remember the day I went into labor and all that I felt. The early morning hours when she was born and the joy I felt in welcoming my first baby into this world. Exhausted and sore, I held my baby girl in my arms and now that same baby was going off to start her academic career and was making me feel better about it. Truly amazing..........

 

I am not a nutritionist by any stretch of the imagination. I am merely a mom of four little ones ages 4 1/2, 3, 2 and soon to be 6 months. And if there is something that I have quickly learned from my experience is that food plays a critical role in how our children develop physicially and emotionally. It can affect their behavior, mood and ability to focus and learn. Not to mention how prepared they are to tackle common childhood ailments through their developing immune system when they ingest immune suppressing substances like sugar.

Breastfeeding receives much awareness and thankfully moms are advised through several channels about the importance of that first level of nutrition and its wide benefits for both baby and mom but it doesn't end there. Once our kids start eating solids, that is where the real challenge begins. I've seen it with my own kids especially my toddlers who all of a sudden require extra time and attention and reinforcement as to the importance of trying new foods every day.

As one source mentioned, you don't want to get in the habit of forcing your kids to eat foods they don't like or make them "clean" their plates, there are lots of healthy foods kids like. Parents often overlook these healthy foods and go straight to what they think are more "kid-friendly foods," such as hot dogs, pizza, french fries, chicken nuggets, juice and soda which can be harmful to them.

They will mimic us and do as they see. I've noticed that when I pick up an apple or banana or yogurt, my toddlers are eager to copy mommy. And that is what I strive to do. Model positive eating behavior. I wish that before they discharged you from the hospital with your newborn, in addition to going over all the things you need to do and remember, that they also gave you an overview on "Childhood Nutrition Basics". If there is a class out there, I'd be willing to take it. There are many passionate parents out there that given ailments, allergies and other concerns, have become determined to have nutrition be at the forefront of our conciousness and understand the direct link between common childhood diseases and conditions and diet. Prevention is always better than treatment.

My learning on this topic has just begun...there is so much I don't know...but for the sake of my little ones and their bodies I will do my best to learn as much as I can :)

Heart health issues have unfortunately been a part of my family for many years. It started in 1980 when my maternal grandmother abruptly passed away at age of 50 of a suddent heart attack. I still recall my mom picking up the phone in the middle of the night and then bursting into tears at the news. I was only 4, but still remember the look on her face to this very day. Years after, my own mother developed cardiac arrhythmia which included a sudden onset of severe heart palpitations, blackouts and dizzy spells and culminated with her having to take a daily prescription pill as part of a bigger preventative plan.Most recently, my father at the age of 60 was diagnosed with atherosclerosis (also known as arteriosclerotic vascular disease or ASVD) which is when the artery wall thickens as the result of a build-up of fatty materials such as cholesterol. What is shocking to me is that neither my grandmother, mother or father had been unhealthy or sedentary adults. My mother and father specially have always watched what they eaten, worked out regularly and taken care of themselves not to be overweight. In addition, none of them smoked. But something that we all learned was that in addition to diet and exercise, there are other factors, especially stress that can wreck havoc on our cardiovascular system. As I became a parent for the fourth time this past November, I vowed to proactively work on staying healthy both physically and mentally for me, my husband and my little ones (ages 4 ½, 3, 22 months and 3 month old). With each pregnancy I gained several pounds and have recently begun a workout regime that consists of getting up at 5:45am right after nursing my 3 month old and heading to the gym for some cardio while the rest of my family sleeps. I workout for an hour and feel so relaxed and a sense of wellbeing after each workout that is undescribeable. I come back home energized and ready to tackle the day! For me working out, getting back in shape and losing weight is more than just about aesthetics and fitting back into my jeans, it’s truly something that is deeper. I want to be healthy on the inside for my kids. I want to learn from my other family members that stress management in particular is key in addition to eating well and staying active. I owe it to my four precious babies and to myself J

 

Check out our interview with husband and wife team, Dr Kathryn Landherr and Dr Shawn Tassone both MD/FACOGs, supporters of integrative medicine and co-authors of "Hands off My Belly- The Pregnant Woman's Survival Guide to Myths. Mothers and Moods" as they share advise on enjoying pregnancy and overcoming fears.

Expecting or reminiscing about pregnancy and childbirth? Laugh hard with Dawn Meehan, award winning blogger and author of "You'll Lose The Baby Weight (and other lies about Pregnancy and Childbirth). Dawn sat down with us to share her stories with witty humor and honesty!

http://empoweredmommies.com/content/DawnMeehanInterview.aspx

 

McNeil Consumer Healthcare, part of Johnson & Johnson (J&J), is recalling over 5 million packages of Children's Benadryl Allergy Fastmelt tablets, Junior Strength Motrin pain-relief caplets due to a "manufacturing process insufficiencies". Additionally, J&J recalled over 71,000 packages of Rolaids antacid softchews fo...llowing customer complaints over unexpected texture and consistency.

Read more at: http://www.nowpublic.com/health/benadryl-motrin-rolaids-recall-2731218.html

Ever wondered how moms who are also physicians handle their own family's health and wellness and pregnancy/birth? Then check out our interview w/ Dr Rallie Mc Allister (MD/MPH) and Jennifer Reich - CoFounders of the website The Mommy MD Guides and co-authors of The Mommy MD Guide to Pregnancy and Birth

http://empoweredmommies.com/content/InterviewwithMommyMDGuidesFounders.aspx

SAFETY RECALL ON BRITAX CHAPERONE INFANT CAR SEAT —Incorrect chest clip design may cause safety issues— CHARLOTTE, N.C. — November 1, 2010 — Britax Child Safety, Inc. announced that it is conducting a safety recall on its CHAPERONE™ Infant Car Seat. The recall includes CHAPERONE Infant Car Seats with Model Numbers of E9L95P2, E9L95P3, E9L95P5, E9L69N9, (Sold in the US) E9L69P2, E9L69P3, and E9L69P5 (Sold in Canada) manufactured between April 2009 and May 2010. Britax Child Safety, Inc. recently determined that the chest clip supplied with the CHAPERONE Infant Car Seat was incorrectly produced by the manufacturer which resulted in a more brittle chest clip than was intended. As a result, the chest clip which positions the harness straps across the infant’s shoulders may break when the chest clip is engaged as the infant is secured into the infant car seat. The sharp edges of the broken chest clip create a risk of a skin laceration and the fractured components of the chest clip may present a small parts/choking hazard.   To address this issue, BRITAX will provide a free remedy kit that contains a replacement chest clip. An instruction sheet in the remedy kit will provide specific instructions and visuals to aid in installing the replacement chest clip.All CHAPERONE Infant Car Seat owners should confirm whether their CHAPERONE Infant Car Seat is affected by verifying the car seat model numbers and manufacturing dates: E9L95P2, E9L95P3, E9L95P5, E9L69N9  (Sold in the US) , E9L69P2, E9L69P3, E9L69P5 (Sold in Canada); Manufactured between April 2009 and May 2010. If your chest clip breaks, remove the broken chest clip from the harness along with any fragments.  The CHAPERONE Infant Car Seat can continue to be used until the replacement chest clip is installed.For more information, contact the Britax information line, toll free at 1-888-427-4829.