I believe swimming is a very important life skill every child should learn. So when  is the best age to learn to swim? Some say, as young as possible. In areas with warmer climates, children may start  swimming when they are babies.  I’ve seen articles online that suggest three is a good age to start or as soon as a child is able to walk. Albeit I was  born in the Caribbean, I did not learn to swim until I was about six years old. My husband, who is a native Floridian—one of the few—started swimming around the age of four and both of my kids began official lessons at the age of four.

I believe there is truth in having a child learn to swim at an early age, but just because your child isn’t swimming as a baby, doesn’t mean he/she is at a disadvantage. Neither of my children learned to swim as babies and now, one can swim, and the other is still learning. Every child is different. Some have a natural love of water, others take a bit and sometimes lots of coaxing to get near it.

My son loves the water. When he was born, we lived close to the beach and  did lots of water activities. Once he started swim class, he quickly learned  as he already had an idea of how to swim. My daughter went to the beach for the first time at age two and cried like there was no tomorrow.  Where we currently reside, the outdoor pool is only open from Memorial to Labor Day and the beach is far.  My daughter does not like strangers so I thought she would completely freak out in a swim class even with me there. So I decided to wait until she started preschool and got the understanding of following instructions from a teacher. In a four year old swim class, I can’t go into the water with her. I think that strategy worked well for her. She did not cry the first class, however we ran into some issues as the class progressed--I’ll share in my next post.

The best advice I can give is to let your child start having swim lessons as soon as you can. That may be as an infant or at four years old.

I planned on writing another post this month. However, I wanted to share what has occurred in my garden. As a brief recap, I planted herbs, veggies, and fruits in several pots last month. I didn’t want to deal with the hassle of prepping the soil, weeding, or worrying that the plants might get trampled by the dog or kids.

In the short time between posts, my garden has produced fruit and veggies. We had our first strawberry last week, which was split into three tiny pieces so everyone could have a taste—delicious.

There are six green tomatoes (not shown) on the vines—all at different stages of development.

I cook with fresh herbs picked straight from the garden on a daily basis. Mint and parsley shown below.

With minimal effort and space, you too can create an edible garden.

Here are a few tips:

• Try to use large containers. I have to move one of the strawberry plants as the pot is too small.
• It is extremely important to follow the sunlight guideline for each type of plant. For example, tomatoes love full sunlight. Conversely, parsley and mint need partial sun.
• Keep plants hydrated according to  recommendations.
• I fertilized once with an all-purpose fertilizer. Garden aficionados might disagree with me but  I wanted to keep this activity simple. My flower garden needed its spring fertilization and I didn’t want to deal with buying different types of fertilizers.

Another way we can teach our children about healthy eating and nutrition is to plant an edible garden. This activity is  great because it’s hands on. Involving kids in this process opens up the door for discussion in a fun, laid-back manner.

It was so funny about three weeks ago when we decided to start planting—it turned into a huge family affair. We spent about two hours at the local garden center. Each child had a say in what we bought—which eventually turned into chaos but hey, at least they had fun!

Planting doesn’t have to be complicated—especially if you live in an apartment or condo with limited space. Many varieties of vegetables do well in pots—which is how I planted all my veggies, herbs, and fruits. We bought hybrid tomatoes, herbs, cucumbers, and strawberries. If space is limited, you can use different combinations of herbs and veggies. In the same pot with the tomatoes, I planted basil (photo below). Chives would also work well with the tomatoes. Every single plant we bought came in a biodegradable pot that goes directly into the soil—reducing the waste of plastics pots. We also reused old pots that were sitting in the garage from other flowers purchases—our garden isn’t the prettiest but it’s practical.

The plants below started very small and have grown considerably in the past few weeks.    

      First picture – tomatoes and basil.                                  Second picture – cucumbers and strawberry

The kids had a blast. Every day my four year old goes out to see the plants. Food doesn’t get any healthier  than by growing it yourself—where there are no preservatives or harmful pesticides.

Happy Planting!

I am a huge believer in teaching children about healthy eating.  Proper nutrition not only affects concentration in school but growth and development. Improper nutrition is one of the contributing factors to childhood obesity. The  Center of Chronic Disease  Prevention and Health Promotion has the following statistics on  obesity in children:

·        The number has  tripled in the last 30 years

·        The rate of obesity has increased from 6.5% in 1980 to 19.6% in 2008  for kids between the ages of 6-11

·        For adolescents between 12-19, obesity has gone from 5.0% to 18.1%

·        Obese kids are at risk for cardiovascular disease, joint and bone problems, cancer, type 2 diabetes etc (Childhood Obesity, 2010).

I’ve listed the daunting stats, so now, what can you do?

My first suggestion is: look in your pantry and refrigerator <cue scary music>

What are you buying at the grocery? Think about it, if you don’t buy candy and the junk snacks—your kids won’t have access to it at home. Now, if you’re like me—where both of your kids are in school—you’ll  know you can’t police them every second of the day.  This is where you’ll need to talk to your children about their food choices and monitor their school lunch accounts.

Relating to what I just mentioned, teach your kids about healthy food choices.
If you don’t know, there are so many free resources online available to guide you.

Try new things. I was very surprised to find out my 4 yr old likes balsamic vinegar—she calls it the ‘black sauce.’ She likes have it with tomatoes and cucumbers. You just never know what your kids might like.

Don’t get stressed if you can’t always prepare something healthy.  I sometimes leave the house and forget to take something out for dinner or I’m running late and there’s no time to  cook before I have to take one of the kids somewhere… stuff happens—life happens.   However, you can still make healthy choices while dining out. Many of the fast food restaurants offer fruit in lieu of  french fries and milk instead of soda.  I like to buy organic frozen pizzas from the organic market—for a quick dinner solution.  The thing is that even though all the ingredients are natural; it still has a high sodium content. What I do is serve the pizza with something raw: lettuce, cucumbers, tomatoes, or fruit to try to give the kids something healthy with that meal.

In closing, take baby steps—don’t try to change your family’s eating habits in one go—you’ll go nuts!

Till next time.

J.

Source: Childhood Obesity. (2010). National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Prevention, Division of Adolescent and School Health - http://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/obesity/

Last month, I shared several examples of poor sportsmanship and out-of-control parents. This month,  I want to address ways we can encourage our kids to show good sportsmanship.  Like anything else, this can be tough to teach kids especially when they see bad behavior from those in authority: other parents, coaches, and athletes.  Nevertheless, we should still  try to guide our kids to do what is right.

• Losing gracefully – this is one of those lessons that goes beyond sports. There is a big difference between losing to a better team and being wronged—I’m referring to the former.  It’s absolutely disgusting to see a child throw a tantrum at a game because his/her team lost.  If we allow that time of behavior, it tells the child that it’s okay to have a fit anytime something goes wrong or they don’t get what they want. And yes, I know  there are adults who behave this way and isn’t it horrible being around someone like that?                                                                                                                                      Winning and losing are a part of  sports.  The exception being a tie but in my experience, soccer is  one of the few sport I’ve seen that can end in a tie.  We, as parents, also need to make sure that a loss doesn’t demoralize our children to the point  they want to quit. You want to teach them how to  not be a quitter however, you  don’t want to force them to play a sport that may not be the right fit for their physique or talents. There has to be balance.

• Calm down - This is  as much for the parents as the kids. Is it really necessary to cause a stink and embarrass yourself and your child at the games?  As an adult, if you  can't control yourself in competitive situations that your children are in, may I suggest: deep breathing exercises, physical activity, yoga, meditation, or sex (in your house before the game).  I don't have enough words to tell you how irritating it is to be around an out-of-control parent at a sporting event.

•  Being Polite – Baseball season is just starting here.  My son’s coach told the team that he won’t tolerate any ‘trash talk.' I was really happy to hear the coach made it one of the team rules.  It is important to be polite and not trash talk especially if the other team is losing.

•  Don’t cheat - I think this is a no-brainer but the reality is...it isn't.

If you're having trouble controlling your temper at your kids game, perhaps you ought to consider the reasons you want your kids to play sports.  Is it so they can learn disciple and hard work? On the other hand, are you trying to live vicariously through them? Are your kids playing sports of their own accord  or because you want to relive whatever athletic-glory days you thought you had?  Just something to think about.

We're only twenty-something days into the new year and I already have issues to vent, uh, blog about :)

My son has been playing in youth leagues since he was four years old but lately, I've been seeing very  unsportsmanlike behaviors at the league games--and it's coming from the parents!  Maybe I'm overreacting but when parents behave inappropriately at youth sports games, it ruins the atmosphere of the game and sends the wrong message to kids about the right way to behave. 

So, I've got stories and sadly, these actually happened!

Last fall, my son played in an 8U (eight and under) co-ed  soccer league. During a particular game,  a little boy (player A) made a tactical move that unfortunately sent another little boy (player B) to the ground--in pain. Accidents do happen as it was in this case however, the disgusting part came after the incident  from player A's father.  This man stood on the sideline cheering and shouting, '"that's how you do it," for his son; while player B  clutched his knee and rolled from side to side on the ground--crying.  I'm not saying you should not cheer on your children just have some respect and compassion. A player is in agony, the cheering can come after. What is this man's action showing his son? You made a good play and to heck with anyone who gets in the way! Are we raising children or little callous savages? You be the judge.

Next story: same league, different game. This time,  the opposing team  consisted of all girls--not a big deal.  Yet, as the game commenced, I noticed  these girls were hitting and  deliberately trying to trip our players. Basically, the girls  team played very dirty and their coach egged them on. This was a very frustrating game for me as a parent and for the kids on our team.  Our kids were not used to playing a team so underhanded. I saw the frustration on my son's face because I constantly tell him under no circumstance is he to lay a finger on a female. And  where was  the referee while all this was happening you may be wondering,  his head was up ... okay, it's not important where his head was. The fact was, he did nothing to stop the girls.  Their coach tells them it's okay to act this way, the referee does nothing to curtail the behavior, so what do the girls do? Continue with their unsportsmanlike behaviors, this is  the perfect breathing ground for little bullies. And in instances like this, it's hard to tell the kids on our team to rise above  the other team and play fairly. When someone is messing with you, you want to retaliate--it's human instinct. Despite what the girls did, our team still won. The sad part is: if these girls concentrated on playing the game instead of trying to cheat, they might of had a chance to be successful.

There are other stories but the one thing I want to mention is that unsportsmanlike behavior does not stay on the field.  It will surface in school and further on in life.

Next blog, I'll be discussing ways to encourage good sportsmanship in children and parents.

In my house, Thanksgiving is one of our favorite holidays. If we’re not traveling,  I usually like to cook the entire meal which takes about two to three days. I’ll admit, I’m a bit of a food diva when it comes  to holiday cooking . But it’s tough when you’ve spent that much time or more preparing a fabulous meal and the kids won’t eat anything.  So I’ve put together some kid friendly food suggestions that may help you this holiday season.

• Whipped Mashed Potatoes -  Boil the potatoes (red or white) until soft. Then add whatever seasonings, butter, milk etc.  I use a  hand mixer with whisk attachment to combine everything. The whisk attachment makes the mash potatoes really fluffy and  for whatever reason, my kids love mashed potatoes this way.

• Caramelized Glazed Carrots -  I use  this  recipe for other holidays as well and it’s really simple to make.  The kids love it because it’s sweet.  I use a very basic mixture of butter and brown sugar. I'm sorry I don't have an exact measurement to give you. But there are tons of recipes online. You need to boil or steam the carrots until crisply tender, drain, and set aside. For the caramel glaze,  heat a  large skillet, melt the butter and then add the sugar. Once it melts, add the carrots and heat for about 5 mins or so. I usually add spices like cinnamon, nutmeg, and a pinch of ground ginger. But if your kids won’t like the spices, it can be omitted.

• Cranberry Jello Mold -  My kids hate cranberry and so do I.  One year I found online a recipe for a cranberry jello mold. If you don’t have jello mold, you can use a regular bowl or whatever you make jello in. Basically, you use jello, fruit juice, cranberry sauce, (nuts and brandy  are optional). This combination  takes away the intense tartness of the cranberry. Detail recipes can be found online. I've only tried the recipe that  requires strawberry jello and orange juice. I've seen some that call for  pineapple juice and apples. So you'll  have to see what will work best for your kids.  This is definitely a fav in my house with the kids and adults.

I’d like to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving.

Jazmin

October marks Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I’m sure you’ve seen the little pink ribbons in commercials and products reminding us to be proactive with our breast exams and take part in activities that support research and raise awareness. So, instead of jumping on my soap box and preaching about the importance of early detection, I decided to share my experience with this disease in the following true story.

Note:  Names and events have been slightly modified and omitted  for this story.

Emma and I walked into a small clinic in North Miami. The stark white walls and sterile smells made me more anxious. I'm sure Emma was as well but she didn't mention anything.  Emma had been feeling something  strange in  her breasts for a while, that’s why I had driven her to the clinic.  Concern in the doctor's voice broke through her unemotional expression. She was disturbed by Emma exam and wanted her to see a specialist, have a biopsy and mammogram immediately.  As the doctor walked out the room, red flags were waving in my head  – something had to be seriously wrong with Emma.  The doctor finally returned with a referral and appointment for Emma for the next week.

I took Emma for the biopsy which was an interesting experience to say the least.  I am not a big fan of large needles.

The results  followed shortly after  all the tests: Emma had Stage III B breast cancer which can also be called locally advanced cancer. My non-medically trained brain started thinking, if Emma is in Stage III, what happened to Stages I & II?  How could the cancer have grown so fast?  OMG, this can’t be happening. What will happen to  Emma's kids if she gets really sick? I went through the entire process of shock and disbelief. Then reality slammed me into a wall. This was really happening to Emma and unfortunately  her genetics played a big part in this as  breast cancer ran in her family.

Chemo started shortly after. I took  her  to treatments whenever I could.  The treatment room in the hospital had several high back black chairs with handles on both sides. There were several people in the room at the same time receiving treatment. The nurses were really nice and allowed me to stay with Emma most of the time. But once the actually drug was being administered, I had to leave. Emma for the most part, had a really positive attitude which is super important when your body is being bombarded with  drugs and by the disease. During one particular treatment, sitting opposite of Emma was a little boy.  He could not have been more than 8 years old. I’ll never forgot his smooth mocha skin and big smile…

Yeah, this kid was smiling and laughing while waiting for the chemo. I almost ran from the room. This was too much. I did not have children at the time  but  could not imagine this precious little boy having to have chemo pumped into his blood. These things do not exist in my world. I did not want to know the effects of this disease, didn’t want to care. I just wanted to run and hide in a secret place  where children and friends were not sick and the disease did not exist.  Here I was supposed to be there for moral support and I was falling apart. It's not good when the moral support person starts falling apart!

I took a moment  to regroup and dismiss the very selfish feelings and thoughts.  What did I have to be upset  about? I had my health.

Emma continued with chemo and the side effects followed.  She was  offered several other treatment options. Some of which she did not want to take.  At the time, I was upset at her for not taking advantage of all her treatment options. But who was I to judge? That’s what I told myself. I had no right to judge her; I had no idea what she was suffering.

Then Emma started to withdraw from her friends. Sometimes months would go by before I saw her. When prior to her diagnosis, we saw each other fairly often. I would call, leave messages but would not get a reply. Other friends tried as well with no luck.

As selfish as this may seem, I was hurt by her actions. I had been there from the beginning and  she was cutting me out of her life.

A few years had gone by. At certain times, she did really well, had lots of energy, went  out, had fun. Emma had such a free spirit. She loved to dance and sing, had an almost childlike innocence about her.

I saw her one  Friday night. The baggy shirt she wore was buttoned at the neck. In South Florida’s heat, it was  not  the type of clothing you would want to wear. She took me into the bathroom, unbuttoned her shirt just to her cleavage. She pulled the shirt back a bit. What I saw, I really don’t know how to properly described.  The top of her breast was purplish/black , like a bad contusion and there was also a  strange smell. I think the cancer was literally eating away her breast.  At this point, some of the original treatment options were no longer available to her.

Months again passed, it was now December. I stood  in my master bedroom  surrounded by relaxing dark lavender walls, packing. We were taking my son who was about two to Disney World. Open suitcases laid next to my black  canopy bed as I tried to decide which pair of jeans made me look better.

The phone rang, “Hello,” I answered.

A familiar female voice said my name. I sat on the edge of the bed, feet planted on either side of my luggage, waiting.

“Emma passed,” she whispered.

I slide off the bed and fell into the luggage. That was it – the call you don’t want to get but knew was coming. No goodbyes. No finally girlie gossip or giggling over some cute guy, nothing.

She was gone.

The day of her funeral,  the sky was a soft blue and I got lost. I knew that part of town like the back of my hand yet I had trouble finding the cemetery, it was a grave side service.  We finally got there and I went numb. I remember watching Emma’s mom and thinking this has to be a crime against nature. A mother should not have to bury her daughter. A grandmother should not have to watch her grandchildren mourn their mother.

I wish I had some deep philosophical thought to offer but I don't.

This situation was tragic and I don't know if there was anything else I could have done to help Emma.

The only suggestion I can offer  is to not ignore your health.

For my daughter, attending preschool is an incredibly  huge milestone.  She has never attended  any type of school nor been in the care of a non-family member.  She is also very reserved, does not like strangers, and prefers to play with her brother’s much older friends.  However,  she is aware of the concept of school – the year she was born, my son started kindergarten. She knows mommy drops you off at school in the morning and  picks you up in the afternoon. Also, that mommy does not stay in school (the most important factor).

We’ve been discussing all summer that she will be starting school soon; she seemed genuinely excited. She even started packing her little Strawberry Shortcake backpack with her favorite books and toys. I’m thinking, this is a very good sign.

Preschool open house rolled around.

We met the teacher in her classroom, saw her little locker with her name on it (super cute).

So far so good!

Then, I tried to leave her in what the school calls 'centers'' – basically, it’s designated play areas. There’s a kitchen, construction zone, science lab etc in one large enclosed area next to the classrooms.   All I wanted to do was submit her remaining paperwork to the school’s admin assistant who was sitting  next to the classrooms. She was not having it. She started fussing the minute I was out of site and came running after me.   I left the open house feeling very uneasy about the upcoming first day of school.

The Big Morning.

She woke up very happy. We did our morning routine – took big brother to the bus stop, got dressed, and left.  Once inside the school building, she got very quiet, typical behavior  when she’s in a new place. Her teacher felt I should take her to the gym as a distraction so she wouldn’t see me leaving and start crying. We walked over, stood hand in hand for a moment checking out the scene. The PE teacher came  and took her hand. She took very tentative steps as she walked away. Every few steps, she looked back.  No tears, no screaming. I knew she was nervous but she was being so brave.

The minute the teacher took her hand, my throat constricted.  Unexpected emotions started creeping up. I was fighting  impending tears then I felt stupid. My baby was being so strong and I was the one falling apart. I, at least had enough control to wait till I got into the car before breaking down.

I was looking forward to having 4 hours alone. Instead I spent the last hour counting down the minutes till I picked her up. Her teacher told me she had one or two emotional moments but for the most part, she did extremely well for the first day. She triumphed.

Me, well, I was the one completely traumatized from the experience. I think sometimes you just can’t win as a parent. The most exciting moments can be so bitter-sweet.

Till next month.

Jazmin.

This year I have a first...

Drum roll please...

This upcoming school year beginning in August will be the first time both of my children will be in school. Big Brother will be in third grade, oy!  Baby Girl will be attending preschool -  half a day, two days a week, double oy!

June and July have zoomed  by.  August will be here in a few days. While I’m enjoying a lax schedule, I’m also counting down the days till school starts as it helps my sanity when the little darlings are being absolute terrors. Of course,  the heat wave on the East Coast and surrounding areas isn’t helping. Anyhow,  that brings me to the subject of back to school shopping. I can’t tell you how much I hate crowded malls and department stores  in the throes of back to school shopping madness. I’d much rather face a bunch of tweens at a Hannah Montana concert. Nah! Just kidding!! 

Yet, every year I procrastinate. Well, not quite, I just like to wait for the tax free shopping weekend in August where certain back to school items and clothing are tax exempt. Below is a list of certain tax exempt items from the North Carolina Department of Revenue.  If you are not in North Carolina, you can do an online search to find out if your state has a tax free weekend.

• Clothing with a sales price of $100.00 or less per item.
• Sport or recreational equipment with a sales price of $50.00 or less per item.
• Computers with a sales price of $3,500 or less per item.
• Computer supplies with a sales price of $250.00 or less per item.
• School supplies with a sales price of $100.00 or less per item.
• School instructional materials with a sales price of $300.00 or less per item.

A more extensive  list is available at http://www.dor.state.nc.us/taxes/sales/salestax_holiday.html

If your child is starting elementary school, most schools have their  supply lists by grades online. Sometimes, local stores which sell school supplies will  have area schools  supply lists available. This year for Big Brother's school supplies, I'm planning on reusing whatever I can from 2nd grade. 

Even if your little darling is not quite school age, there are many great deals to be found. If you can handle the crowds.

While shopping for preschool is a lot less time consuming than elementary school, my biggest issue will be practicality and necessity versus ooh sooo cute! Baby Girl is my only daughter and her fashion should be rockin’ on the playground, LOL.  All joking aside, practicality is really what you want. At ages  2,3 and 4 kids grow so fast, so I’m not overly concerned with brand name clothing at this stage. Of course, I don’t want to buy something that’s history after one wash either. Preschool is a wonderful learning environment but it’s filled with tons of stuff that stains clothing and some stains DO NOT come out.  What’s worked for me is sticking to brand name jeans and  sneakers then buying cheaper tops (tops usually get stained and ruined first) and accessories (socks, underwear etc). I also try to stay away from trendy items especially if you have more than one child of the same sex and intend to pass the items down. 

You can also check a store’s website as many stores will be offering additional saving at this time.  But the most important thing is to  have a plan, stick to what is needed and have a budget. It’s very  easy to get distracted.

So gather  up your patience, pack a bunch of ibuprofen and if some jerk steals your parking space, be adult about it. Remember your kids will be in the car. Let’s go shopping!!

Ciao,

Jazmin.

In my last post, Baby Girl made progress then endured a setback.

It’s now January 2010.

With the new year came renewed strength and focus. I decided to concentrate  only on pee-pee in the daytime.  I was determine not to let this potty training thing stress me out and not  listen to the stupid voice in my head that said I sucked at this… I  felt incompetent that I could not get her to go ‘pee’ in the toilet. It’s silly, I know,  but the whole process and her lack of progress were emotional draining.

Mustering up patience, not only for her but myself, I kept encouraging her. Little by little, she started using the potty to go ‘pee-pee'.’

Baby steps and small victories, I told myself.

Then we did what I like to call, ‘test runs,’ going out with underwear only for  very short periods of time.  This was accomplished when we took Big Brother to school in the mornings. His school is very close to my house so we were not gone for more than 20 minutes.  She did well, no accidents. Another small step in the right direction.

Next step was underwear only during daily errands. This was a bit difficult as she did not like public toilets but would only go to  the bathrooms  at the bookstore and  Target.  In trying to psychoanalyze her three year old mind, I think she associated those stores with fun. At the bookstore, we went to story time and at Target, we bought stuff. Well, that’s my guess.

About mid -February, the day time pee-pee was going quite well. She was wearing underwear for most of the day. So I decide it was time to focus on the other part of this process.

Drama!!!

Little Miss Baby Girl did not liking going ‘poop’' on the potty.  She cried when I refused to give her a diaper to poop yet she sat on the potty and big toilet to go pee-pee . She had a few bowel movements on the toilet when I was able to catch her in the act but those were few and far between.

Another battle ensued.  This was even more difficult as Baby Girl has issues with chronic constipation. She’s had this issue since she started on solid foods. So what does she do since I'm not giving her a diaper? She starts holding her poop. 

Chronic constipation and holding her poop, NOT a good combination.  Then for some reason, she starts reverting, not wanting to do either on the potty.

It’s the beginning of March.

We’re having a hellish week. I can’t tell you how many times I was cleaning up pee-pee from the floor. Then one day she removed her underwear, looked  me square in the eyes, a defiant look well beyond her years filled  her big brown eyes and peed on the floor.  Then she said, “Mommy I peed.”

The dog must have sensed the building fury because he bolted. One errant curl dangled down Baby Girl’s forehead.  In words she couldn’t  quite yet verbalize, her eyes told me, “That’s right mommy, I peed on the floor, watcha gonna do ‘bout it!”

Oh my goodness, people! 

Let-me-tell-you, after the initial shock wore off, I calmly walked over to the hallway, checked that the house alarm was on and retreated to my master closet. Yes, I said master closet and yes, I know it’s a little psychotic but I had too. I had to walk away. It wasn’t that she had an accident , it was that she knew exactly what she was doing when she willfully peed on the floor.

My head was spinning. Where was Meredith Vieira with my lifelines?  This can’t be normal, can it? Do I need my head examined? Did my precious little angel just do  a very witchy thing?

I did not know whether to punish her or just let it go, I was completely stomped. Why can’t kids come with instruction manuals?

I called her pediatrician afterwards. I’d had enough, a call to a carpet cleaning company followed. I  then learned  an interesting phrase from her doctor called, toilet training resistance. Basically, kids who are over three and are still not toilet trained after a few months of trying.  These kids will also delay bowel movements, exactly what Baby Girl has been doing.

Note: please consult your child’s pediatrician if you suspect your toddler is experiencing toilet training resistance as there could be other issues occurring.

Before I could begin practicing any of the tips her doctor gave me, I needed to get her regular again which meant giving her a diaper.  I began thinking  this issue was purely psychological for her. Perhaps at one time she had a very difficult bowel movement  and that has haunted her little mind. Of course, I'm only speculating.

Present day.

Baby Girl does not sleep with a diaper anymore. Night time training was  the quickest transition for her and she’s never had an accident a night.

Thank goodness! I believe the powers that be were looking out for my sanity, lol.  She wears underwear in the day and at night to sleep. I still give her a diaper for bowel movements so we’re  working on that.

And she starts pre-school in September and has to be fully toilet trained!

Yikes!

I’ll let you know what happens. Feel free to leave any comments or questions in the forum. I would love to hear from you, any hellish potty stories out there?

Ciao,

Jazmin

With having more than one child, it’s difficult not to use the experience with your first  as a comparative basis. Case in point, potty training. 

Five years ago  (jeez, I’m feeling old) 

Big Brother, my oldest, was just turning three and on the verge of starting preschool.  All the preschools I have encountered want kids to be completely potty trained for their three year old programs.  At this point, Big Brother was still in diapers and we had not yet attempted toilet training.  Basically, hubby and my step dad  separately took him to the bathroom and showed him what to do.  Since I lacked a certain appendage to accomplish that particular task :).  Aiming was another issue but at least he knew what to do and where to go.

Wham bam done!

My son became the master of the  'pee-pee.' Yep, that easy and that quick.  We also used a potty training DVD which helped and if I remember correctly, I only bought one pack of pull-ups.  Big Brother loved the idea of wearing big boy underwear especially Thomas the Tank Engine, his fav at that age.  Number two, however, took a while longer for him to get.  His preschool at the time let him start albeit he was not completely proficient with going 'poopie.' Within a few weeks, the kid was completely toilet trained. Going to school and seeing the other kids go potty was the final piece that he needed to spark his brain.  It was a very good example  for him and I was very surprised how fast everything clicked.

Fast forward to Summer 2009

Summer holiday.

Big Brother was home from school so my logic said what better time to start toilet training Baby Girl, my youngest, who was two and a half at the time. Let me first preface by saying that we have an open door bathroom policy with her and she was starting to copy her brother.  Based on prior experience with Big Brother,  I was absolutely confident  by the time big brother started school in August, Baby Girl would at least be partially potty trained.

I purchased a pink, girlie potty with the music and stuff. Before I purchased said potty, we were talking  about bathroom usage, trying to at least get the seed planted in her mind. We read a potty book together however she was not very interested in the potty DVD so I didn’t bother with it.

With potty unpacked and assembled in the bathroom the excitement was mounting in my mind. This was the beginning of a big milestone.  No longer will she be a baby in diapers but a little young lady. Of course, I did not expect her to be a potty wiz, no pun intended, and instantaneously become toilet trained yet I was unprepared for her ill-reaction. She looked at the potty like it was a Klingon alien (Star Trek reference, I’m a geek at heart!) and bolted. She wanted nothing to do with the potty.

Summer winded down, Big Brother started school, and my initial goal of her being at least partially potty trained was non-existent. Baby Girl  had no interest what-so-ev-er in using the potty.   So I took a step back thinking maybe she was just not ready.  Whether that was right or wrong, I don’t know. I still continued with the potty books and discussed it with her to remind her that’s what big girls do and to keep it fresh in her mind. I also left the potty in the bathroom.

A month later, we resumed.  Still no success. She would scream bloody murder when I tried to put her on the potty.  I attempted non edible bribes at  first: favorite stickers, her favorite show, and books. When that did not work, I resorted to her favorite snacks and moving the potty into the living area, still did not work. 

It’s now six months later with her third birthday looming…. and I’m ready to lose it!!!  I finally realized I was just the facilitator in  this.I cannot get into her body and mind to know when the nerves are sending  messages back and forth from the bladder to brain signaling she has to go to the bathroom. Unless she shows some outward signs like shifting from leg to leg or grabbing that area. However, it does little to ease my frustrations.  Albeit deep down I know that Big Brother and Baby Girl are two different individuals with their own milestones and growth experiences. At this point, I'm starting to wonder if this issue is purely psychological: is Baby Girl just so in love with her diaper that she refuses to give it up? Is she as stubborn as a mule and can't be bothered with the potty? Is there something physiological occurring or is it a combination of both? I'll address these questions in my next post.

About two days before her three year wellness visit with her doctor, I heard the music from the potty. When I looked, she was there on the potty and had gone pee-pee.  I was ecstatic. Finally, finally, she had gone potty. We called her dad at work, called her grandmother, made a huge deal out of it as I thought it was a major breakthrough.

To my dismay, her big  potty moment was a single-occurrence as she refused to go back on the potty.  We took one step forward and two steps back.

To be continued...

Ciao.

Greetings! 

First time blogger and excited to get started.

I have very limited  experience with  Childhood Food Allergies so I’m going to deviate from the topic a bit.  Instead of discussing children who can’t eat certain things due to allergies, I’ll discuss children who won’t eat, AKA ‘The Picky Eater.’  As a mom of two, I am fully aware  meal time can turn into a battlefield.  Someone should rework that Pat Benatar’s song, ‘Love is a Battlefield’ into ‘Food is a Battlefield.”

Okay, I got sidetracked, enough with the eighties music reference. Moving on…

Both of my kids when they were younger did not like milk, no issues other than taste. Even now, my toddler who is 3 will only have milk with cereal but even that is sporadic. I tried soy milk, didn’t work. I'm not a big fan of chocolate milk but even when I've offered it to her, she would only have a sip.  Now I’m panicking because I think she’s not getting enough calcium. Then,  I started looking at alternative sources of calcium with the help of her pediatrician. Items like yogurt, cheese and calcium fortified orange juice to name a few, things which she loves and has on a daily basis.  At her last check-up two months ago, she was completely healthy. 

Relief!

Knowing that many moms and dads have experienced a picky eater , I’ve put together a few  tips that may appease a fussy toddler/child’s palate:

• Find healthy alternatives – Like I did when my children did not want to drink milk.
• The Sneak Attack (one of my favs) – Sneaking veggie or fruit or meats into foods that they like. My daughter loves mashed potatoes. She’ll eat all the potatoes and barely touch whatever meat is on her plate.  If I’m serving meatloaf for dinner, I’ll mix the meatloaf into the potatoes and she’ll eat it.  Or you can slip some finely diced veggies into soup, slices of fruit with cereal.  One thing about the sneak attack, I've found it only works on the younger ones. It’s very difficult for me to fool my 8 year old.
• Set a good example – If your kids see you eating healthy, it’s more likely they will follow.  This has worked in my house. My kids will eat salad when they see hubby and I having a bowl.
• Make it fun- I’ll put out a veggie platter with ranch or blue cheese dressing and the kids will eat all the veggies. It’s because they like the dressing more but I’m happy since they’re eating the veggies. I like to use certain whipped topping with fresh fruit. If you read the labels, certain brands have very little sugar and calories.  Find what works for your kids.
• Be Patient – I know,  easier said than done. Keep in mind that food textures and tastes are new to your child so it may take a while for them to acquire that taste.
  
• Don’t be afraid to offer new items – You may never know your child likes zucchini if you don’t offer it to them.
• Finally, if nothing seems to be working, you may want to consult your child’s pediatrician. 

Please  post  your picky eater stories, additional suggestions or comments. I would love to read them.

Ciao, Jazmin.

Source: Mayo Clinic