I'm very conservative when it comes to movies that I allow my young kids to watch. I don't appreciate violence, romantic themes, name calling, or even bad attitudes portrayed in so many movies that I have attempted to share with my kids. My kids end up with nightmares or bad attitudes themselves.

I know that little ones will grow up and be exposed to "real life" experiences similar to what is found in movies. And I know that it is important to have family discussions about controversial themes in movies. However, I believe that toddlers and preschoolers are still too young for most of these movies that are marketed to them.

It probably goes without saying, but we don't watch much TV or movies in our house. At times, however, it is a nice way to share some relaxing family time. When movie time does come around, a few web sites have been helpful in determining which movies meet my conservative standards. Commonsensemedia.org and Parentpreviews.com are two sites which rate movies on a variety of elements, including violence, sexual content, language, and drugs and alchohol use. Commonsensemedia.org even rates consumerism. On both sites, you can read what other parents are saying about a movie.

Regardless what your personal issues are with movies - if any - these sites offer a good way to help you feel comfortable about letting your kids watch a movie, before you press play or buy a ticket.

My daughter's preschool teacher shared this with the parents. I think it is a lovely poem for the holidays, and wanted to share it with the Empowered Mommies community. I know I could use these thoughts all through the year.

What Shall We Give The Children

What shall we give the children?  Christmas is almost here.
Toys, and games, and playthings.  As we do every year?

Yes, for the magic of toyland is part of the Yuletide lore
to gladden the heart of childhood, but I shall give something more.

I shall give them more patience, a more sympathetic ear,
a little more time for laughter, or to tenderly dry a tear.

I shall take time to teach them the joy of doing some task.
I'll try to find time to answer more of the questions they ask.

Time to read books together, and take long walks in the sun.
Time for a bedtime story after the day is done.

I shall give these to my children, weaving a closer tie.
Knitting our lives together with gifts money can't buy.

- Author Unknown

As a web site project manager during the week and a digital photographer on the weekend, I seem to be on the computer a lot. Like a lot of us mommies, I also check in with Facebook and of course, EmpoweredMommies.com. when personal time allows.

In addition to many other activities, my children are now showing an interest in computers. My five year-old maneuvers a mouse like an expert. With supervision, computers can provide a positive learning experience. Here are five sites that my kids and I enjoy. If you have any to add to this list – and I’m sure there are a lot of great web sites out there for kids – please add a comment to this article.

1. http://sparky.org/

My three year-old’s preschool teacher endorses this web site. The site, sponsored by the National Fire Safety Association, includes online games, craft ideas, and coloring pages, all aimed at teaching little ones about fire safety.

2. http://www.starfall.com

My neighbor’s nanny, who has devoted her whole life to childcare and teaching, told me about Starfall. The site introduces reading to preschoolers. The littlest kids can play simple games with mommy or daddy. The older ones can play more advanced games or “read” stores online. My older child is in Kindergarten, and her school uses the Starfall web site to teach reading and computer skills to that age level.

3. http://kids.nationalgeographic.com/

This is a great site for any kid interested in animals. My daughter and I enjoy looking through the beautiful pictures of the animals and reading about each one. Some animal profiles include video of the animal in its own habitat.

4. http://www.pbskids.org

Our local children’s library has the computers setup to access this site. The kids can learn through playing games with their favorite television characters, like Clifford the Big Red Dog, Sesame Street, Dragon Tails, and the new Dinosaur Train.

5. http://motherlyloving.blogspot.com

This site is an active blog maintained by a friend of mine, a Catholic mother of two. I am not Catholic, but I admire the site for its content, including lots of seasonal craft ideas, and also for its inspiring spirit. The author embraces her religion and its culture as something to pass on to her children proudly. I think providing this kind of environment for kids at home creates a sense of belonging and understanding even for the littlest ones, and it is a wonderful idea for a mother of any faith.

When I was pregnant with my first child, I chose my future baby’s pediatrician based primarily on location. Her office was less than a five minute drive from my house. She was also a legitimate, board certified doctor with a pleasant demeanor, and that seemed good enough for me.

As my new baby grew, the relationship with my doctor became awkward. According to the physician, my daughter wasn’t fitting into the proper growth chart category; she was underweight in relation to her length. This professional viewpoint confused me. I breastfed my baby when she demanded to be fed. She spit up if she was overfed. How was it possible to feed her any more?

As time went on, I added solid foods to my daughter’s diet, and she remained at the 90^th percentile in length and the 25^th percentile in weight. The numbers were always the same at every checkup, even as she grew into a toddler. My doctor was still concerned, encouraging me to feed her more. She even requested that I bring the child in for ad hoc weight checks, a signal to me that she was suspecting negligence on my part.

Although the doctor meant well, I eventually decided that I was ready for a new pediatrician. Based on a referral from a friend, I found a wonderful pediatrician who assured me that a toddler with a long, lean body was fine, especially since that seemed to be her normal growth pattern throughout her short life. My daughter is now a happy five year-old, and she is still long and lean, a trait that many people in my family share.

It has been five years, two children, and what feels like a world of wisdom since my first meeting with the pediatrician. Based on my experience, I have compiled a list of personal advice for new moms looking for a medical care for their babies.

• Meet the other doctors in the practice. Your doctor will not always be available when you need him, and there will be plenty of office visits with other physicians. It makes for a fairly unpleasant appointment when the attending pediatrician doesn’t seem to care for children or respect you as a parent.
• A separate waiting room for sick kids isn’t as important as it seems. The idea – to keep sick kids away from the healthy ones – is a good one. But I don’t see many kids or parents using the room, perhaps in fear that they might catch a disease in addition to the one they already have. Sick waiting room or none, it is always a risk when you take healthy kids into a doctor’s office. Prepare for it.
• Office hours are important. Our new pediatrician once closed early on Fridays and opened late on other days. They have since changed their hours to make it more convenient for families. 
• Ask about care provided after office hours. My first pediatric practice had a very cumbersome way to get in touch with an after-hours nurse by phone. My new practice has a direct line – with minimal hold times – to a professional nursing staff.
• Think about the long-term relationship with your chosen doctor. Does your child or family have continuing special needs that a doctor should understand or support? Do you prefer a male or female for your son or daughter as the child grows?
• Ask your friends. As with other professional services, an endorsement from friends, family or mothers from online parenting networks, helps greatly when searching for quality medical care for your family.
• If you change pediatricians, think twice before you pay any fees for records. The practice that you are leaving may charge you a hefty fee to copy your child’s records and mail them to the new doctor. Instead, ask your new doctor’s office to make the request for records, and there will likely not be a fee incurred.

Most of us are fortunate enough to have a choice of pediatricians, so why not find the one whose office hours, values and demeanor suits you and your family.

They grow up so fast.  As a parent of two young girls, that is the phrase that I hear most from family, friends and even strangers. We mothers may perform minor miracles – sew a hole in a beanie baby, play Tooth Fairy, and have dinner on time every night for a week – but there is nothing we moms can do to stop time. We can, however, record moments in our kids’ lives to help us remember their younger years. One method – writing – sounds simple but is actually hard for many moms to do. Maureen Ryan Griffin, a writing teacher and coach based in Charlotte, North Carolina, leads monthly sessions called “Motherwords” for mothers and grandmothers that want to preserve memories about their kids and families in the form of words. “Motherwords is about learning how to write to, for and about your family quickly, easily and from the heart,” says Maureen. “We practice techniques that will enhance your appreciation of the special gifts of motherhood, nurture your own creativity, and capture your priceless moments on paper to treasure always.” Her class has some fans. One participant loves the class because it has provides time each month to write memories of her kids, and as a result, she watches her children more closely for moments she'll want to remember. Another mother likes the class for the community of mothers that share their memories and inspire her own.

Maureen came up with the idea for Motherwords after reading a newspaper article about a preschool teacher that carried a notebook with her and jotted down words uttered by her little students. She gave the words to each child’s parents at the end of each school year, and her efforts earn her a teaching award.

Maureen follows her own advice. Upon her daughter’s college graduation last spring, she gave her daughter a bound book of writings and pictures entitled 21 Years of Bliss (her daughter's nickname) that covered each phase of her life. Her daughter was thrilled—literally to tears.

In addition to teaching her writing courses for moms, Maureen is writing a book about the subject, due out in time for Mother’s Day 2010. This sample of the book’s introduction gives a gentle call to all mothers to write and preserve memories:

Experience for yourself the fulfillment of writing for and about your children… whether or not you think you can write. (Or even like to write.)

Whether you write in sentences or fragments, poetry or prose, whether or not you can spell or know where the commas go, write.

Whether you write in a beautiful leather book with your child’s name inscribed on the cover, on scraps of leftover napkin, or on your computer, write.

Whether you write several times a day, once a week, once a year on your child’s birthday, or once every blue moon when the mood strikes you, write.

Your stories are your legacy. Put them in writing. Share them. You (and your loved ones) will be glad that you did.

For more information about Maureen and Motherwords, go to http://www.maureenryangriffin.com.  

Call us Mars and Venus. As a married couple, my husband and I fit into a traditional mold in many ways. He tackles any job that requires a tool. I prefer to do the laundry, mostly to save my clothes from being boiled in hot water until they are shrunk to fit my five year-old.

My husband is also passionate about cars, a subject many women – including me – don’t get such a charge out of. Concepts like horsepower, torque, displacement and power-to-weight ratio fascinate my husband but make me daydream about taking a nap.

So when we began talking about buying a bigger, more family-friendly vehicle over four years ago, we approached car shopping from totally different perspectives. My hubby wanted to look under the hood and ask questions about cylinder deactivation, and I wanted to know about exterior color options.

After interviewing numerous car salesmen and reading articles in Car & Driver, my husband eventually concluded that a minivan was our best choice. I was skeptical. Everyone knows the minivan has image issues. Only in my early thirties, was I ready to drive a vehicle that says to the world, “I have big responsibilities and I don’t party much anymore.”? Nonetheless, we took the plunge and purchased a (silver) minivan with all the options over an SUV.

I am now a veteran minivan owner, and I can say that the ride has been great. With apologies to Edmonds.com (I needed help with my terminology), here is what I like about my van:

· Passenger access: The doorways and seats in a minivan are the right height for placing infant seats inside without stooping into a car or stretching to reach into an SUV. Because of a lower floor height, my kids can climb into a van by themselves at an earlier age than they could with an SUV.

· Sliding doors: In tight parking situations, it is much easier to deal with sliding doors than traditional vehicle doors, which might get dinged into the next car. I am lucky enough to have remote sliding doors, and I can let my kids in the vehicle even while juggling my purse, camera, and laptop computer.

· Cargo capability: Vans actually win over SUVs for hauling capacity (see the article sourced below). In my van, I can haul more luggage and baby gear around than any mom with an SUV. Or in my husband’s world, he could drive around with a 4x8 sheet of plywood if he needed to.

· Safety: Minivans get better safety ratings than large and small SUVs. From a parent’s perspective, that speaks volumes.

· Economy: Minivans use a lot less gas than SUVs. For example, the estimated highway gas mileage of the Honda Odyssey is 25 miles per gallon, while a Ford Explorer gets 19 miles per gallon. Vans also cost less to buy, maintain and insure. Money saved… a huge advantage today.

To be fair, SUVs score higher when it comes to towing capacity and all-weather capability. However, neither of these issues has been important to me; I don’t own a U-Haul trailer and I live in the Southeast where you are expected to stay at home at the first sign of snow.

Yes, the minivan may have the “soccer mom” image problem but I have learned to dearly love mine. It helps that a lot of my friends are now minivan owners too, so in my peer group I don’t stand out as the one driving a kidmobile. And my husband, Mr. Mars Himself, promises that he still finds me attractive even behind the wheel of a van. He had better. After all, we’re in this wonderful life stage together.

For an informative article comparing minivans with SUVs, go to http://www.edmunds.com/advice/buying/articles/125389/article.html.

It is no secret that moms are stressed. The mental health of mothers is a popular topic researched by psychology programs across the country and reported on by the major networks. The Today Show on NBC recently ran a feature exploring the reasons why 46% of moms report themselves to be stressed and unhappy. Experts agree that to combat stress, it is important for mothers to set aside time for themselves, including time to exercise. Yoga is a form of exercise that claims to help its practitioners cope with stress. But to practice yoga, do you have to be an expert at meditation? Do you have to be fit and flexible? Or can it connect with the everyday mom with little or no yoga experience? Lisa Brownstead, yoga instructor and owner of Pretty Postures Yoga Parties, sees a strong connection. Lisa is like a lot of moms: she drives a minivan, chauffeurs her kids to school and activities, and struggles to strike a balance between work and family. What sets her apart is her passion for yoga and her belief that it can transform the lives of moms and families. According to Lisa, the benefits of yoga for mothers are many:

1. Increase your energy. Lack of energy is something that almost every mother struggles with. Yoga dramatically boosts energy levels, even for those new to the practice. Forget your craving for afternoon coffee; a few back bends can provide instant energy when you most need it.
2. Find satisfaction with your body. Many moms struggle with accepting their post-baby bodies. Women who practice yoga report more satisfaction with their bodies compared to women who don’t do yoga.
3. Boost your immune system. Moms don’t have time to get sick. Twisting exercises actually massage inner organs and help break down toxins in the body. Additionally, a thorough yoga workout may cause you to sweat, which also rids the body of toxins.
4. Improve your coping skills. There are days when Mom may be irritable, whether it is from a lack of sleep, worries over a child’s behavior, or feeling overwhelmed with the workload involved with raising a family. Yoga teaches deep breathing and calming techniques to help moms cope with irritability and anxiety.
5. Improve your kids’ coping skills. Children struggle with stress too, and coping skills and anger management may be hard to learn. Yoga can teach kids calming techniques and improve self-esteem. Yoga has also been reported to improve the lives of children with ADD/ADHD, autism, anxiety, and other disorders.

Lisa emphasizes that taking the time to practice yoga is not being selfish. A calmer, happier mother benefits the entire family.

Lisa’s business is based in Charlotte, NC. Her teaching schedule is found on her web site, www.prettypostures.com.

For my first post, I want to share a sweet and inspirational poem that I came across recently. My apologies to the author, as I do not know her/his name. Perhaps she is a preschool teacher who is also a mother of several children. The tone of the words are patient and wise to the spirit of children.

HOW TO REALLY LOVE A CHILD Be there. Say yes as often as possible. Let them bang on pots and pans. If they are crabby, put them in water. If they’re unlovable, love yourself. Realize how important it is to be a child. Go to a movie theater in your pajamas. Read books out loud with joy. Invent pleasure together. Remember how really small they are. Giggle a lot. Surprise them. Say no when necessary. Teach feelings. Heal your own inner child. Learn about parenting. Hug trees together. Make loving safe. Bake a cake and eat it with no hands. Go find elephants and kiss them. Plan to build a rocket ship. Imagine yourself magic. Make lots of forts with blankets. Let your angel fly. Reveal your own dreams. Search out the positive. Keep the gleam in your eye. Mail a letter to God. Encourage silly. Plant licorice in your garden. Open up. Stop yelling. Express your love, a lot. Speak kindly. Paint their tennis shoes. Handle with caring. Children are miraculous!